The New Year is upon us, as first reported by Old Dirty Blog, and we all know what that means: parties!   As a way to pay back all you loyal readers I'd like to help you out by alerting you of several party-going faux pas in hopes that you may enjoy the entire night.  

So, submitted for your approval and in the spirit of the countdown to 2008, I give you ODB's top ten ways to get yourself thrown out of a party/bar so that you may avoid them.      *For the record, these are all from my own personal experience.

Number 10: Pull an upper decker (where you drop deuce in the top part of the toilet).        

Number 9: As the bartender is pouring champagne in the carefully lined up glasses follow him or her down the line chugging each glass then throwing it behind the bar.  

Number 8: Cause everyone to miss the countdown on the TV by changing it to Cinemax because you got a text message that Buff Bagwell was doing softcore porn.  

Number 7: Pork and dangle the vat of jungle juice (the pork and dangle is when you use your junk to stir).  

Number 6: When signing up for beer pong list your team name as "Team Mein Fuher" (this mainly applies to anyone partying at Brandeis University).  

Number 5: Sneak into people's bedrooms and visit multiple kiddie porn sites on their computer (in my defense the kid was a total douchebag).  

Number 4: Tell your Indian hostess that she smells like curry.  While still inside of her.  

Number 3: Attempt to sneak a keg out of the back of the bar and while being pursued knock down the other kegs to block the bouncer's path.

Number 2: Get walked in on by an angry guy whose girlfriend is going down on you in the bathroom of a bar and try to alleviate the situation by telling him that you made her call you by his name while she was working it and then while trying to escape accidentally breaking the bathroom sink and causing a massive water break.  

And the Number 1 way to get booted from a party/bar this New Year's Eve: Hook up with the host's mentally handicapped sister. 

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