Just your everyday stuck up, tasteless, male humor blog. I talk about everything from my crazy sex antics to helping you accomplish yours. Love it or hate it, you are still reading the best trash on the web.
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My blogging excellence has awarded with this really cool nomination. Please vote for this blog, and I will redouble my efforts to provide classy, refined sexual trash for your reading pleasure.
You've heard about my glorious tales of triumph and filth for over a month now. Let me hear what kind of crazed, deprived, horrific acts have you pulled off? I know they won't be as heinous as mine, but I'd sure love to hear about them.
So give it a shot. You know you want to. Send me your dirtiest tale or tip and I may publish it here on Old Dirty Blog. Who knows? It might inspire me to go off into the world and use your tactics to spread some sex sauce all over some young coed, and of course write about it here.
A wise philosopher once asked "If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a noise?" Well, I think we can all agree that the greater question is as follows: if you slam some madam, and you are so intoxicated while doing it that you don't even remember, does it still count?
Take, for instance, the case of a certain trip to Oneonta in upstate New York for the purpose of competing in a case race. (For those of you who don't know, a case race is where you and two teammates compete against other teams of three in a race to finish your case of beer first. It always ends well.). After a night of raucous drinking and unprotected sex at SUNY New Paltz the night before, we headed north to Oneonta. After enjoying a little pre-game celebration it was time to start the competition. Despite my MVP effort, my team took the loss, after which we decided that some beer pong was in order. The next thing I remember is waking up the next day in a sitting position on the couch, soaking wet from the waste down. I was so drunk from the night before that I literally pissed myself. Anyways, we left to go back home and I just assumed I passed out after beer pong.
Fast forward eight months.
I'm at a bar in NYC with two of the friends I went to Oneonta with. While outside having a smoke "Sarah" says to me "You don't know what you did that night in Oneonta, do you?" I gave her an inquisitive look and asked what she was talking about. She proceeded to tell me that after beer pong was over, everyone headed out to the bar except for me and out friend "Stacy". She came over to the couch where I was barely alive, sat down next to me and started to kiss me. After a while she took my pants off and went to work slobbing on my knob. I got her up on the couch and proceeded to tear into her like I was searching for buried treasure, which is funny because as this was going on I noticed that Pirates of the Caribbean was on. Now, I love this movie. I'm fascinated with the history of piracy and the movie is always able to distract me from whatever I'm doing. While I was jabbing at her ovaries I started to put all of my focus on the movie, much to the chagrin of Stacy. I want to keep getting laid, but I also want to watch this movie, so I need to figure out a way to make both happen. The answer was simple; I took her off the couch and threw her on all fours in front of the TV for the coveted Watts Riot Blackout Bang Special. After I finished up (no clear memory of where I spunked her) she had to put my pants back on for me and then tried to cuddle up on the couch, at which point I told her to get me a beer. She ran off to the kitchen and by the time she got back I was out cold.
Remember: I do not have any recollection of the events read above. I found all of this out 8 months after the fact, which begs the question: does black out sex apply to my body count? It's an open ended question, kind of like in Total Recall, although she didn't have three boobs…unfortunately.
Readers have left 2 comments.
2. Comment AEPHI lover,
that is a wonderfully insightful way to look at it. biologically, it certainly counts, as fluids were exchanged, but emotionally, i wouldn't bother adding it to my body count. it's just demoralizing.
Posted 08-07-2007 16:03:21
1. Comment Gangsta Pants,
This seems to be more of a question is it convenient for it to count. Take into consideration these possible factors. Was she hot? Will it fuck you over if people find out? Does it make for a good story? (in this case yes) Does the chick want anything out of it (i.e. relationship etc). I'd suggest taking these factor into consideration then making your decision cuz in the end it could just come down to a classic case of a a toll is a toll, a roll is a roll, a phone is a phone, and a bone is a bone.
God bless Suny New Paltz and all the lovely women of AE PHI.
You've heard about my glorious tales of triumph and filth for over a month now. Let me hear what kind of crazed, deprived, horrific acts have you pulled off? I know they won't be as heinous as mine, but I'd sure love to hear about them.
A wise philosopher once asked "If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a noise?" Well, I think we can all agree that the greater question is as follows: if you slam some madam, and you are so intoxicated while doing it that you don't even remember, does it still count? 
.
