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You've heard about my glorious tales of triumph and filth for over a month now. Let me hear what kind of crazed, deprived, horrific acts have you pulled off? I know they won't be as heinous as mine, but I'd sure love to hear about them.| She Already Does Your Laundry, Why Not Give Her Your Full Load? |
| Monday, 23 July 2007 | |
 Awesome juice. Rocket sauce. Cock mustard. All of these things are simply synonyms for the most powerful evolutionary force that mankind has ever known. While it is a well documented fact that sex sauce does, and oftentimes with disastrous results, create life, most of the time the last thing we want is to 'slip one past the goalie'. But, when you "release the hounds," they've gotta go somewhere. Where are the most convenient non-vaginal places to blow your load? That is a question that has plagued mankind for centuries. The first rule of load blowing is to forget what's convenient for her. She has already lathered your sex staff full of weird, aquatic-smelling sludge, so don't be in a big hurry to do her any favors. You're already doing her one by not dropping a load of inseam invaders into her baby maker. But, as a rule, chicks do not like if when you blow it the sheets, on your old Mets t-shirt, or, especially, in your hand. There's a lot of protein in that stuff, and it does not wash off cloth easily..... But, when soap is applied, it washed off the female body quite easily...and THAT, friends, is where you blow your rogue sex syrup. Now, your first instinct upon removal is to blow it in the closest available place- like her stomach or something. TERRIBLE IDEA. I know it's hard, and you're really not thinking too straight as you're about to let loose half a pint of baby fuel, but you need to find a way to hold back this discharge for a few seconds. Rocky had to learn discipline while training in Russia, so it's really hot a huge stretch for you to keep the gun loaded for just a few more seconds. Warning: all of the semen shooting options listed below require an ability to aim, and fire your load with accuracy and precision- much like a revolutionary-era minuteman. The jugs are a fine place to blow one's load; right in the valley in between them. Some chicks are all about this for some reason. Some pretend to be- and pretending is good enough for most people. Seriously, she's probably just finished some theatrics from faking an orgasm, so this final act will probably be very natural for her. But, some chicks genuinely like hot cock mustard making landfall between her breasts, and she will appreciate it when you run to the bathroom to get her a towel afterwards. Now, for the advanced penis pistol shooter, you can move a little north, into territory where only true heroes tread. Blowing it on her face has it's own term: The Money Shot. I personally am not a fan of blowing it in her eye- if here eye is full of rocket sauce, she won't be able to see the look of glee and dominance on your face while pumping her full of your sex essence. But, there is nothing better than right in the mouth area. A well-timed Money Shot to the oral cavity is something that will last a lifetime. But why make her swallow your sex sauce? I feel this is counterproductive. I suggest you aim and fire right above the mouth- on the lip, giving her a man gravy milk mustache- this friends, is known as 'The Frosty Walrus', and is the optimal place to blow any load.                       |
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