In the game of life, you deal with tiny issues every day. Bills, acne and Dr. Phil are among the more annoying, yet trite problems one comes across, assesses, and manages on a daily basis. But, there are some problems so massive, so stupefying in nature that they command your undivided and relentless attention for a prolonged period of time.

A set of circumstances that requires the most immediate, swift and decisive action is if your girlfriend/sex-buddy/wife is not blowing you.

Oral sex is the lifeblood of all men. Despite the world's differences, conflicts and sporting rivalries- every man on earth can agree that blow jobs are awesome. Even a bad blowjob, involving a girl nibbling on your stick like corn on the cob is still amazing. Without a good hummer every now and again, we cannot walk confidently through life knowing that, if only for a few minutes (and preferably while watching a sporting event and drinking beer) a woman completely degraded herself by lapping up your awesome sauce like a Scottish Terrier.

That is why it is a cause for incredible concern if your girl will not blow you. But, do not despair. There are steps that one can take to alleviate problems like this, no matter how bleak the circumstances look.

First of all, she needs to know that sucking a penis is not a bad thing- its natural. Everyone does it. Talk to her female friends and acquaintances- most of have to smoke a pole every now and again. If none of her friends huff a little dong every now and again- it’s time to move on.

If they do, then explain that they need to casually mention to your girl that blowjobs are fun, easy, and enjoyable for everyone. This is an outright lie, but if it wasn’t for alcohol and dishonesty you probably wouldn't be with this girl in the first place. Let's be real here.

On a side note, while explaining how distraught you are about your lack of head, you might want to mention that her friend should blow you, just so you can feel like a man again. That might not have a high success rate but its worth trying.

If that doesn't work- expose her to blowjobs in TV and film. There are many movies, such as "Requiem for a Dream" and "The World According to Garp" that glorify the act of penis licking, ball smothering fun.

If THAT doesn't work, why not try gently pushing her head towards your little sex syrup slinger while she's giving you a hand job? Maybe being right up and close by your penis will make her wonder to herself "wow, maybe it would be enjoyable if i placed this heinous looking appendage into my mouth? and maybe manipulated those hairy genitals?"

Stranger things have happened.

If that doesn't work, I recommend a good mistress. Maybe two.