Just your everyday stuck up, tasteless, male humor blog. I talk about everything from my crazy sex antics to helping you accomplish yours. Love it or hate it, you are still reading the best trash on the web.
Login
Subscribe to ODB
.
My blogging excellence has awarded with this really cool nomination. Please vote for this blog, and I will redouble my efforts to provide classy, refined sexual trash for your reading pleasure.
You've heard about my glorious tales of triumph and filth for over a month now. Let me hear what kind of crazed, deprived, horrific acts have you pulled off? I know they won't be as heinous as mine, but I'd sure love to hear about them.
So give it a shot. You know you want to. Send me your dirtiest tale or tip and I may publish it here on Old Dirty Blog. Who knows? It might inspire me to go off into the world and use your tactics to spread some sex sauce all over some young coed, and of course write about it here.
While it has been established that there is no greater feeling on earth than receiving a hummer, this feeling of conquest and contentment is only amplified when you can get your girl to suck on your sex sword while you're driving somewhere. Truly it is an awe-inspiring feeling to be master of the road, and get the twig and berries licked at the same time.
Even though this selfless act is oftentimes enjoyable, there are many rules that must be adhered to in order to ensure a safe, clean environment for both involved parties. Here are some examples.
-Road head cannot realistically given to a person who drives a car with a stick shift- while it is true that many nice cars (that help attract dong huffing females) only come in standard packages, it is unfeasible to have a girl place her mouth upon little captain awesome while your constantly jabbing her in the throat with your knuckles while changing gears.
-The road head giver must be ready for sudden stops and starts. Do not be upset if a sudden stop leads to a long throbbing projectile being stuffed into your tonsils. It is an occupational hazard.
-The road head giver must never use her teeth- under no circumstances, with no exception
-The recipient of road head is not obligated to say anything. It is difficult enough to drive, handle the radio, smoke a cigarette and get a solid pole smoking without having to update you on how he is doing. You both know it feels great, input is not necessary at all.
-The recipient of road head reserves the right to move your head into any position he sees fit to guarantee his comfort. Your mouth is, after all, on his sex cyclops, so you should probably cut a little slack. One wrong move could mean certain disfigurement from which there is no recovery.
-The road head giver must consent that her jugs, if possible, are going to be fondled while she's at work down there. It is a simple and unalienable fact.
-The road head giver is going to swallow all of the big bad baby batter that the recipient produces- and like it. In road head there is no room to ruin the upholstery. Absolutely none.
-Road Head is mandatory when driving more than three hours in a high density traffic situation, especially when the recipient is paying the tolls, driving your car, or driving you someplace. If you're not going to pay for gas, the least you can do is pucker up and give out some please.
One person has commented on this post.
1. Comment Crabby,
I worked with a female nurse that once gave her boy friend a blow job while she was driving .She had him stear the car while she worked the gas and the break all the while her head was in his lap he was sitting in the passengers seat
You've heard about my glorious tales of triumph and filth for over a month now. Let me hear what kind of crazed, deprived, horrific acts have you pulled off? I know they won't be as heinous as mine, but I'd sure love to hear about them.
While it has been established that there is no greater feeling on earth than receiving a hummer, this feeling of conquest and contentment is only amplified when you can get your girl to suck on your sex sword while you're driving somewhere. Truly it is an awe-inspiring feeling to be master of the road, and get the twig and berries licked at the same time. 
-The road head giver is going to swallow all of the big bad baby batter that the recipient produces- and like it. In road head there is no room to ruin the upholstery. Absolutely none.
.
