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You've heard about my glorious tales of triumph and filth for over a month now. Let me hear what kind of crazed, deprived, horrific acts have you pulled off? I know they won't be as heinous as mine, but I'd sure love to hear about them.| Salad Tossing: Is it for me? |
| Monday, 16 July 2007 | |
 So really, when is it a good time to ask your girlfriend, boyfriend, partner, etc if it's a good time to stick your face in their buttocks in efforts of getting sexual pleasure? Truly, that is a question for the ages. Broaching the subject of ass-to-mouth relations is something that should be done extremely delicately. It is altogether common that this idea will be met with fear, or trepidation- and in some cases, mind-numbing amounts of rage and fury. It's understandable to be a little bit leery of getting your "salad tossed," as the saying goes. The anus and the mouth really have nothing to do with each other. Some people are a little squeamish about putting something in an orifice that is usually reserved for things exiting the body, not the other way around. It may be prudent to pretend like everyone is into the whole "salad tossing" thing. Why not make it sound like it's something perfectly natural for couples to engage in? Example "I did that whole ass to mouth thing with a few other girlfriends of mine, and we liked it. All my friends do it..." Now, this will have two possible effects. If the person whose anal cavity you wish to invade is susceptible to peer pressure, you're in business- especially if there are low self-esteem issues involved. Of course, if your sex partner is one of those independent-thinking self-actualized types, then you might be up shits creek. Usually, the more logical thought people put into the concept of butt-licking, the worse of an idea it seems. Our team of experts has also deemed that conservative minded people are especially hard to talk into asshole munching. It's simply a fact of life. Its also important to note that just because all of the evidence points to someone being completely against "salad tossing" does not mean that it's a bad idea to bring it up. There are few universal laws of existence- the sky is blue, the grass is green, and shy, quiet girls are usually into freaky shit in bed. It's also worth noting that if someone is super enthusiastic about someone licking his butt hole for pleasure, you may want to be worried. Too much ass to mouth action leads to things like donkey humping and the Texas hotplate- and I don't care who you care, you can't respect someone who likes the Texas hotplate. You just can't. But, if you're into that stuff, this site has articles about it that are both informative and stimulating. One last thing that’s of extreme importance here is that you take a large risk, and often a step into the kinky unknown when you step into the kinky but enjoyable world of tossing salad. Sometimes you can never go back. There are girls who will kick you right in man mustard maker for even proposing the idea that she would enjoy your nasty, germ filled tongue fumbling around her anal cavity like a drunken Irish sailor. We recommend that you should at least know your partner's last name, their place of birth, and the names of three of their friends before bringing up "salad tossing"- unless heavy drinking or illicit drugs are involved- in that case, you have a golden goddamn opportunity! go for it!                       |
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