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You've heard about my glorious tales of triumph and filth for over a month now. Let me hear what kind of crazed, deprived, horrific acts have you pulled off? I know they won't be as heinous as mine, but I'd sure love to hear about them.| Tag Team's Back Again |
| Tuesday, 25 September 2007 | |
 Sure, there's no better feeling than dropping your awesome sauce on two chicks at a time, but who's to say that teaming up with a buddy to take some lucky lady to Paris can't be just as much fun? Some guys will try to tell you that any kind of sexual activity that involves another guy in the room is intrinsically gay. Well I say if two buddies can't cross swords with one another while tearing into some young cum queen then what the hell are we doing here in the first place? Seriously, you'd use a urinal after your buddy so why not a slam hole? It's just like a urinal, except smaller, tighter, wetter and you don't pee in it (unless you've got something going on that is beyond the limits of even this blog). Whereas working a two girl three-way can require a great deal of cunning, doubling up on unsuspecting female prey can be quite simple. My most memorable tag team experience took place in the winter/spring of '04. Anyone who parties enough knows that the most ridiculous nights are always the ones where you had nothing planned. I can vividly recall the circumstances surrounding this night. I was exhausted from working all day and had to be up the next morning at 4:30. The Bruins were in the playoffs and I decided that an easy going night of hockey and steaks on the grill was a perfect way to wind down. I called my buddy Alex and invited him to come by. "I'm sick as hell" he told me. "Come on dude. We'll have a couple of steaks, relax and we'll both be in bed by ten." I convince him to come over and when he gets to the house he's got three 40's and a 12 pack of Ice House bottles. Sounds like a perfect remedy for a sick guy. We're pounding drinks and eating steaks when our mutual friend "Sophie" calls Alex up. She's bored and drinking Smirnoff Ice by herself at her house. We invite her over and as she gets to the house so does my roommate "Jenny" (from the original threesome blog). Her plan is to get changed and head to a small concert at a bar and decides to have a couple of drinks with us first. At first we just share a few drinks and a few laughs, but before you know it we're all hammered. We're playing drinking games, pounding shots, the girls are flashing their tits and Alex and I are groping female genitalia left and right. I decide it's time to take Sophie upstairs and take her internal organs for a ride on my man train. We're a few minutes into the routine when suddenly I hear Alex's yelling from downstairs. Jenny was so drunk that she passed out while they were kissing. Alex was trying to wake her up but to no avail. In my drunken, cock mustard fueled haze, I felt for my buddy and decided it was my duty to help him out- and there was only one way I could think of that would really be beneficial to all concerned parties.... I yelled down and told him to come upstairs. Sophie looked at me inquisitively. I told her not to worry. What proceeded was a double slam that nearly prevented this girl from walking for days. High fives were exchanged, the Eiffel Tower was brought into play and there was no dick on dick touching, despite what she says now that we're not the best of friends. A couple of Internet rumors have that effect on people. The trickiest part of double stuffing some slam hog like an Oreo cookie, is making sure you don't cum on your buddy. I suggest putting this slut on her back and getting on opposite sides of her, at the proper angle of course which should have you aimed towards her chest and face. Of course this means you have to time your load with your buddies and there's no non-weird way to do this. The best approach, if you're going to finish first, is to take over her mouth and just ooze her a pint of liquid love right down her throat. If you're finished first the proper etiquette is to leave and let your buddy finish in peace. If you happen to finish at about the same time simply throw her a towel, high five and go drink more beer. Finishing simultaneously and spraying your victim with enough bang butter to cover a stack of flapjacks is a maneuver so impressive that, if this were medieval times, Troubadours would write songs about it.                       |
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