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You've heard about my glorious tales of triumph and filth for over a month now. Let me hear what kind of crazed, deprived, horrific acts have you pulled off? I know they won't be as heinous as mine, but I'd sure love to hear about them.| Threesomes: A Six-Holed Sloshfest for Everyone |
| Monday, 30 July 2007 | |
 No matter what our individual goals in life may be we all share the desire to have not only one, but two girls jousting back and forth with your humping lance. This is America, afer all. We are all endowed with the unalienable rights to life liberty, and three way sex. That being said, if you follow these steps I took you will exponentially improve your odds of drawing double coverage next time you go deep Anyway, I had been dating a girl "Shannon" for a while and I knew she was at least open to the idea. She would kiss her girlfriends when she was drunk, so I figured there would be a chance that she would be into a "special guest star" the next time I gave her the piledriver. It is key to make sure that she is at least somewhat open to the idea, even if not completely willing. If you get the vibe that she would never even kiss a girl (or if she tells you this outright) then move on to someone else- like her sister or roommate. That will teach her not to be into the six-holed shuffle. We're all familiar with how subliminal messaging works. Dropping subtle hints is really important here. Don't just call her up and say "Listen, you know how you like tuna so much? Why not try vagina?" Or, if I had just left some screw-goo on her face I'd mention that giving her and another girl a spray down is my ultimate fantasy. I was always reassuring her, but I didn't overdo it. There's a fine line between subtle suggestion and obnoxious nagging. It’s important to note that if your girl has said something to the effect of: "Well, I might be willing to do it if it was with the right girl" then you're in. So now I had Shannon ready and it was time to find slut number two. Instead, I suggested her friend "Jenny". Jenny was busty, adventurous and insecure. I mean, hey, they've kissed before and if Shannon is willing to visit the all you can eat calamari buffet, why not Jenny? Jenny and I shared a class together, so I subtly mentioned that she should come out with Shannon and I, who she thought was pretty “smokin’." The plan was to meet up at a bar for a few drinks and then head back to my place. Now, I chose this particular bed of scotch and sin because it was nicer than a college bar and I knew we wouldn't run into anyone we knew (distractions would only hurt my odds of success). Getting sloshed out at the bar is a rookie mistake which can lead to people feeling sick, having to pee too much, etc. Also an important note: I didn't talk about the dirty three way suck fest that would be going down later that night. I kept the conversation casual, the girls laughing, and the drinks coming. Now it was time to head back to the apartment. I had some nice wine waiting for them when at my place. Be sure to make the event classy, right up to the point when you're playing whack-a-hole). While enjoying a few drinks, I busted out my ace-in-the-hole, “strip dice”. The easiest way to get girls naked is a fun game, and I highly recommend strip dice. After a few drinks and a few rolls, we were naked and ready to stain the sheets. I wanted this to be an ongoing event, so I had to do it right. Lots of kissing and groping of the fun-bags to start (believe me, foreplay is a lot more fun when there's two sex caves present). Sure, it was only a matter of time until I'd be filling more holes than a funeral director, but why rush it? I started slow, switched mouths a lot, busted up some internal organs and then gave the two of them my holy spooge communion. Success! The depraved acts that went down that night would become a regular occurrence for quite some time. Or at least until they stopped avoiding eye contact with me in the dorms.                       |
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